UFO – Regenerator

It was January 28th, 1982, the day after my 21st birthday. As part of the celebrations, I had tickets to see UFO at the second of three sell-out concerts at what was then the great temple of British rock, the Hammersmith Odeon in London.

The BBC recorded the show for their regular Saturday night ‘In Concert’ broadcast a couple of weeks later. This has shown up as a bootleg in the past, now it sees an ‘official’ release. While many people associate UFO with Michael Schenker, the often overlooked period with Paul ‘Tonka’ Chapman saw their greatest commercial success. This recording shows just why; it shows the Phil Mogg/Paul Chapman/Pete Way/Andy Parker/Neil Carter line-up at it’s peak.

In complete contrast to the classic “Strangers in the Night” live album released just three years earlier, they draw the bulk of the songs here from their most recent albums ‘No Place to Run’, ‘The Wild, Willing and the Innocent’ and ‘Mechanix’. Just a few Schenker-era favourites remain, four on this album, since the final encore ‘Doctor Doctor’ is missing.

High spots are the “No Place to Run”, the harder and heavier version a great improvement on the weak studio version (I always felt the lightweight production on ‘No Place to Run’ was the major blot on George Martin’s copybook; perhaps hard rock just wasn’t his forté), a fast and furious “Long Gone”, and the storming cover of Elvis’ “Mystery Train”. Paul ‘Tonka’ Chapman’s playing is superb throughout, unconvinced Schenker fans should listen to his solos on “Only You Can Rock Me” and “Love to Love”.

This is of course an ‘official bootleg’, no overdubs or edits, and suffers from the odd pops, clicks and fades. But the live intensity of the performance shows though; this is just what live albums are supposed to be about. The only thing missing apart from the final encore is the bit where Phil Mogg announced that the gig was being recorded for the radio, and got the audience to shout “Hello Mum”. Turn up the volume as far as the neighbours will tolerate, and enjoy!

And I do still have the T-shirt, 20 years later.

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Game Wish 9: Changing the World

This week’s WISH from Turn of a Friendly Die

What’s the most fun you ever had creating something in a game that changed the game-world?

I think this has be the goth/doom-metal band Ümläüt, which has been a feature of not one, but two games. The first game was an on-line modern-day Call of Cthulhu adventure set in London, running on the late lamented CompuServe RPGAMES forum. My PC was Karl Tolhurst, guitarist of the band. The back-story in my character submission was that the band had split after lead singer Steve Leywood had run out of sanity and murdered another band member (who was also Karl’s lover), before killing himself.

The GM skillfully wove all this into her game background; NPC Steve Leywood’s occult obsessions had turned him to incorporate forbidden Cthuloud rituals into song lyrics and getting audiences to chant them. He was later to turn up as an undead thing, to murder another band member who the GM was using as an NPC in front of another PC in a different game thread. The Cthuloid rituals themselves may or may not have been responsible for the earthquake in Docklands that did terrible damage to the headquarters of Rupert Murdoch’s News International.

Ümläüt have their own spoof web page, which more than one person has mistaken for the web site of a real band – the fictitious murdered keyboard player turned up on the dead rock star site. There is also a recording of Ümläüt’s music, made by my brother. The GM refuses to listen to it.

The band has now resurfaced in another on-line game, Edge of Hell running on Dreamlyrics, touring the US slightly earlier in their own timeline. They’re currently stranded in California following several dates falling through due to incompetent management. This time four out of the five members are player characters, including Steve Leywood and one of his murder victims. Time will tell if history will repeat itself; this time the crowd chant of “Iä! Cthulhu F’Tagn!” resulted in a severe thunderstorm and a power failure that terminated the show.

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10p for the Hamster!

BBC NEWS | England | Fare cop for Nibbles the hamster
I beat Patrick Crozier to this one! A boy is charged a 10p fare for his hamster! Is this the new First Group policy, I wonder?

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The Bilbo Baggins Song

Thanks to Silflay Hraka for this. All I can say is that the video is even more surreal if you’re playing Steve Hackett’s Darktown at the time. Is there a video of William Shatner’s classic “The Transformed Man”?

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More on stations

I’m not in total agreement with Patrick Crozier.

Or take the airport. OK, so arriving there by road is a pain but once you’ve entered the terminal building it’s a piece of cake. You check in, go through passport control, go through security, do some shopping, go to the departure gate, board your plane. Easy peasy.

Boggle? One of the big advantages of train travel is that it isn’t as cumbersome as air travel. No two-hour check-ins, lengthy boarding procedures or nonsense like that. As for shops and facilities, how many railway stations in Britain deal with the same number of passengers daily as an airport? And what proportion of those passengers arrive an hour before their train is due to depart?

I travelled from Slough to Manchester today, and experienced four stations (and three trains) in the process. I thought about yesterday’s comments as I travelled.

Slough: Arrived about 15 minutes before the train was due. There’s nothing in terms of passenger facilities at all on platform 2 – There is a buffet, but it’s on the wrong side of the revenue protection barriers. There’s another one (when it’s open) on platform 5 over the bridge. There’s also no gents loo on that platform; you have to cross the bridge to platform 5 again. Room for improvement here.

Oxford: I waited about 35 minutes here, due to a missed connection (for once it was Thames Trains, not Virgin, that was to blame – the Virgin Cross-Country train I’d planned to catch had left on time for once). This is a fairly simple station with two main platforms; I had time for a coffee in the buffet on platform 2. There are a number of shops in the concourse on platform 1, but you have to pass through the revenue protection barrier to get to them (which means I technically broke the journey, which I was allowed to do on my ticket). The bridge linking the two platforms is wide, covered and non-flimsy, and supplied with a passenger lift on both sides. Also the freight lines through the middle are good for taking photographs; I got a good shot of Freightliner’s 66520 on the Avon Bin-Liners.

Crewe: My original itinery didn’t include a change here; but since I’d missed the direct train from Oxford to Manchester I ended up on the Portsmouth to Liverpool as far as Crewe. This was one of the few trains where a Voyager is a definite improvement on what had gone before; the four car class 220 unit was well-filled, and the passengers would never have fitted in the 2-car 158 they’d previously used on this service. Crewe is a confusing station which had grown piecemeal in Victorian times, with platforms all over the place. Again there’s a substantial covered bridge with a lift at each end, although I found the lift on platform 6 hard to find.

Finally, Manchester Piccadilly. Thanks to the Commonwealth Games it’s got a shiny new concourse with a growing number of shops, which they’ve managed to fit in without putting one of those infernal concrete rafts over the platform. The blend of modern and Victorian works, and the 19th century train shed looks a lot better than it must have been in the days of steam. To me, this place is a template for how a major railway terminal should look.

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Stations

On UK Transport, Patrick Crozier wonders about stations.

I find almost all stations disappointing. And it’s not just the graffiti, the vandalism, the tatty appearance of many of them or the fact that so many have been rebuilt by modern architects – modernity’s answer to the Luftwaffe. Even if none of those things applied I would still be disappointed.

Any why is it that some of the surviving Victorian stations seem to be so much better than the ‘modern’ ones? I hate the places where they’ve put a bloody great concrete raft over the platforms, leaving a dark and dingy environment for the passengers. I realise this releases real-estate above the station for retail and office development, but what’s the value of the more pleasant passenger environment? Star prize for the most awful station has to be Birmingham New Street, narrow cramped stairways, dark and claustrophobic platforms. Probably the reason Birmingham has such a bad reputation is that New Street (or Spaghetti Junction) is most visitors’ first impression of the place. Not that it’s a uniquely British problem either; Bern in Switzerland is pretty horrid too.

There are better stations around; I like Manchester Piccadilly, especially now they’ve built the new airy concourse which compliments the modernised and cleaned-up Victorian train shed. Pity half the trains use the desolate and windswept platforms 13 & 14 ten minutes walk from the rest of the station.

There are a few places where there are decent wide footbridges under cover; Carlisle comes to mind as a pleasant station to use; so does Chester and York. All three are refurbished Victorian buildings complete with overall train-sheds. I think there is a pattern here.

As for confusing layouts, that’s not confined to large stations. Dawlish in Devon is horrible in that respect; the place is a maze, it’s difficult to find the way out or in, especially when the booking office is closed and you have to get in through the gate at the side. Walking to the corner of the building you’re presented by a flight of steps that you naturally assume lead up to the platform. Wrong! After about six steps it leads to a blank wall, where a doorway had been bricked-up. The real entrance is a little further on.

Of course, many smaller unstaffed stations have more in common with a bus stop than an airport in terms of the number of people that use them. I can’t think of a good solution to vandalism in a lot of the smaller stations that it’s simply not economic to staff all the time. One good idea is to sell off redundant railway buildings as private housing; this has been done in a few places in Britain. I’ve seen this in Switzerland, where the station buildings of now unstaffed stations are occupied by retired railway staff.

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The current state of SF

The Gline explains why he’s given up reading Science Fiction and Fantasy.

The short version is this: I stopped reading SF and fantasy when I realized the market had turned into a cesspool without a hint of real life or imagination, driven entirely by paper-thin profit margins and catering to easy, well-known product lines (or imitations thereof).

I don’t doubt that there are, right now, very good SF and fantasy books floating around out there. But I have become so poisoned by the bad stuff that it may take me a long time to get my taste back. Not only that, but something else happened that probably undermines everything I could do to bring the taste back: I grew up.

There’s no getting around the fact that SF and fantasy are designed to appeal to an adolescent cultural outlook. Not just adolescents, but a culture that revolves around appeasing an adolescent mindset. Many of the people I know who are my age have this kind of perpetually adolescent outlook — their life revolves around not what’s important or meaningful, but around what they can get and how they can get it. (I’m probably not much better, come to think of it, but it is something I have grown painfully aware of in past years.) And most of what they want is adolescent cultural products.

I think that’s a little over the top. Sure, there’s an awful lot of formulaic drivel out there, but there’s plenty of good stuff out there for those that are prepared to look. And there are people out there that write SF and Fantasy suitable for grown-ups.

All of this is probably just a very wordy way for me to voice a prejudice: SF and fantasy as we have come to know it lately are [expletive deleted – this is a family blog]. Plain and simple. Have you read any of the Wheel of Time books? They’re unspeakably bad — atrociously written, ploddingly paced, and populated with characters I wouldn’t want to waste ten minutes of my real life with. (That’s the Gene Siskel test: if we don’t want to spend lunch with these people, why the [another expletive] are we going to read 800 pages about them?) And yet the books sell like mad. Evidently my tastes are a lot finickier than most people’s, but I can only report back on what I know. Most of what I keep running into, or what gets recommended, is just nasty hackwork.

I managed to read about a hundred pages into The Wheel of Time before deciding I didn’t have the time to waste reading any more. People tell me the series does get better, but people also tell me the later books go off onto rambling interminable subplots, and Robert Jordan will never finish the story, because it’s his cash cow.

I gave up on “generic fantasy” several years ago; I read one or two a couple of years ago as part of the Book Club section of the Compuserve SF forum, one of which was the first volume of George R R Martin’s Fire and Ice saga. It reminded me of just why I’d given up on generic fantasy; what I was reading was an American daytime soap opera in fantasy trappings. The point at which it lost me was when I imagined a group of bickering kids as having American accents. Sadly I seemed alone in disliking the work, everyone else was praising it in gushing tones. The sysop in charge annoyed me particularly in claiming this formulaic potboiler was many times better than the previous book we’d discussed, Frank Herbert’s classic “Dune”, and questioning my judgement for daring to disagree with her.

I like the definition of fantasy from John Clute and John Grant’s Encyclopedia of Fantasy, which claims that the setting itself must be an actor in the story, and not just a static backdrop. By this definition, much “Generic Fantasy” as written by the likes of Robert Jordan and David Eddings isn’t really fantasy at all. I believe Generic Fantasy has now become an extremely conservative genre, almost as conservative as women’s romances, driven by archetypes derived from Tolkien and Gary Gygax.

Saying this, I realise I have read and enjoyed a lot of what should be classed as Fantasy in the past couple of years; Roger Zelazny’s “Chronicles of Amber“, Tim Powers’ “The Drawing of the Dark“, Neil Gaiman’s American Gods and the last couple of Terry Pratchett’s Diskworld books, as well as re-reading “Lord of the Rings“.

What I suspect is that most readers of Generic Fantasy (and the equivalent formulaic SF sub-genres) don’t want surprises; they’re not after sense of wonder, or metaphors for the real, mundane world. They’re after the comfortably familiar, those easily-recognised archetypes, the same basic story told over and over. Which is why I’m not one of them.

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Game Wish 4: Systems

Game WISH from Turn of a Friendly Die

This is my first attempt at answering one of these; since I can’t think of anything to say for the current WISH, so I’ll try and answer an older one.

Describe three systems you have gamed under: one you thought was good, one you thought was all right, and one you didn’t care for. What were the good points and the bad points of each system? Did the systems support their genre? Were they complex or simple? How easy were they to GM and play? Is there a system you’d really like to try that you haven’t? Which ones wouldn’t you try based on reading them?

Since so much of my gaming nowadays is either one-shot convention games, or internet-based PBeM/PBMB games, I tend to play a lot of different systems. System matters a lot less in on-line games, so I’ll concentrate on the FtF games. I realise the last ten games I’ve played have all been for different systems, working backwards we have Blue Planet, In Nomine, Call of Cthulhu, Runequest, 3rd Ed DnD, GURPS, Hero Wars, TORG, Fudge and Classic Traveller.

Good: GURPS
GURPS is unfairly maligned as an overcomplicated system that appeals only to anal-retentive simulationist gearheads, being too slow and cumbersome for most tastes. It’s not true; while the system is detailed, and strives towards realism, it only becomes over-complicated if you insist on using every possible optional rule, something I’ve never done as a GM, and haven’t seen done as a player. Most of the game’s complexity is in character generation rather than game-play; once you’ve generated characters, the actual gameplay runs smoothly. I’ve played a lot of GURPS both as a GM and as a player, concentrating on low fantasy, realistic modern-day or hard SF, genres for which GURPS excels. To me, it’s one of the few well-supported games that’s optimised towards more realistic lower-powered characters rather than towards highly cinematic action heroes. I’m not bothered by the fact that it breaks down at high power levels and can’t handle comic-book superheroes because I don’t care much for those genres.

In the good category I’d also mention Fudge, which is ideal for story-centric rules-light gaming, and Chaosium’s Basic Role-Playing, the engine behind Runequest and Cthulhu, which has stood the test of time remarkably well.

All Right – d20
The best thing I can say about D&D 3rd Edition is that it’s a big improvement on what went before; they’ve cleaned up a lot of the inconsistencies and dumped most of the sillier rules. Having played quite a lot of 1st and 2nd ed. DnD over the years, I find 3rd ed an awful lot smoother in play. However, it still includes the sacred cows of DnD such as classes and levels, and the hard-to-rationalise way it treats and armour and damage – Armour doesn’t really represent armour, damage quite definitely doesn’t represent damage, and to try and rationalise what healing spells do makes my brain hurt. However, it’s a reasonable game at representing the tropes of heroic fantasy, though I don’t think d20 really works as a generic multi-genre system.

Bad – Deadlands
I sometimes think the designers of Deadlands have tried as hard as possible to make a game which is the polar opposite of my own tastes. Having played it a couple of times under different GMs it’s just about the only system I refuse to play any more because I can’t stand the mechanics. I find the system of dice and playing cards and poker chips far too intrusive, the card-based initiative system is very slow and cumbersome, and the dice mechanic awful beyond description. It uses a Byzantine dice-pool mechanism using polyhedral dice which leaves the player with absolutely no clue what the character’s actual abilities are. This may intentional in an attempt to frustrate min-maxers, in which case I must be a min-maxer because I found the system incredibly frustrating in play. Couple this with what I suspect to be far too high a chance of critical failures (although the impenetrability of the probabilities mean I have no idea if I just rolled badly, or the odds were stacked against me). I hate the way the number of actions per combat round is based on a roll using this idiotic dice mechanism, and the all-too-frequent critical failure means you end up sitting out the next hour while the other players have four or five actions.

There aren’t many systems I’d really like to play but haven’t, but there are quite a few systems I’ve played a couple of times but would like to play a bit more before judging them; Hero Wars is one example; a lot of intriguing ideas there, especially the very free-form magic system.

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Railtrack strikes again!

Apart from the hideous colour, what else is wrong with this railway coach? (Thanks to Simon Bendall for the link)

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The End of an era

Stewart Watt posted this to the ModMod mailing list.

Subject: Last Virgin XC Loco Hauled into Padd

Hi all,
Just a quick note to say that last night was the last ever booked Virgin loco hauled service into Paddington (1V97) which then went to form the 1M02 0600 Padd-Manchester. And I had the distinction of despatching on its journey into Padd!!
Regards
Stewart

There’s an August 1968 feel about all this. Throughout the summer, the Virgin Cross-Country locomotive-hauled workings have been going over to shiny new Voyagers, one by one. Soon it will all be history and memories.

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