Nul Points

So the British Eurovision Entry is to be written by Andrew Lloyd-Webber

It will be warbled by some wannabe chosen by a cheesy talent show. Previously the British public has been forced to choose the least bad from a list of mediocre entries, and still the voters get it wrong.  This time there is no option to choose something not written by cheesemeister Andrew Lloyd Webber

My feelings are summed up by the greatest composer of the late 20th Century, Roger Waters.

We cower in our bunkers
With our fingers in our ears
Lloyd-Webber’s awful stuff
Runs for years, and years, and years

An earthquake hits the theatre
But the operetta lingers
The piano lid comes down
And breaks his f***ing fingers

It’s a miracle

I hope Finland come up with something good next year.  They’d get my vote.

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7 Responses to Nul Points

  1. xseawitch says:

    Finland weren’t so good last year, but following up Lordi was a bit of a challenge, I guess. Can ALW be worse than Scooch, I wonder?

    I reckon they should select from some of the actual talent in the country, someone like the Tindersticks would be interesting.

  2. Tim Hall says:

    I’d love to see Britain enter a rock band, but it will never get beyond the mediocrity police who have mainstream British music in a stranglehold.

    Motorhead would be the ideal entry!

  3. xseawitch says:

    Think Lemmy has too much integrity, but I bet no one has even thought to ask him, brilliant idea ;-)

  4. Chris says:

    Surely Naplam Death would be the best entry wooooooooragh! http://www.napalmdeath.org/

  5. Chris says:

    Whoops Napalm Death – not sure who Naplam Death are :-)

  6. Steve Jones says:

    I love the smell of dyslexia in the morning :D

  7. John Parr says:

    The problem is finding someone who is prepared to lay their reputation on the line in exchange for for the risk of being ignored by the rest of Europe.

    As long as the voting is so blatantly biased then there is no point in trying too hard so we might as well send ALW into the fray. He may be cheesy but at least he is prepared to have a go. It’s just a bit of harmless entertainment when all’s said and done.