Author Archives: Tim Hall

Parallel Universes

A poster on Pyramid Online asked the following:

I’m running a kind of “kitchen sink,” modern, horror, dark fantasy game. The characters are currently in a sort of alternate realm. At the end of the adventure I want them to think that they’ve come back to their reality. Of course, they haven’t. It’s a parallel timeline but the differences are so subtle they don’t notice them until well into the next adventure.

I know it’s a fairly broad question, but does anyone have suggestions for subtle, not easily noticed differences between alternate Earths?

People came up with a lot of interesting ideas, from the expected “Betamax not VHS is the standard for video tape” and “America has used the metric system since just after the civil war” to “Crude oil is transported in gel form to avoid the risk of oil spills”. Here are the suggestions I came up with:

  • The whole of Ireland became independent in 1922. ‘Unionist’ terrorists, although totally disowned by the British government, have fought sporadic terrorist campaigns against the Dublin government, and ultra-protestant elements of the Religious Right in America sometimes raise funds for them.
  • Ireland joined the allies in WW2, and the Royal Navy operated out of ports in south-west Ireland. (Probably too major a change, might have a significant effect on the Battle of the Atlantic)
  • There was a civil war in Belgium between Flemish and Walloons in the 1950s.
  • Margaret Thatcher was never British prime Minister. Denis Healey succeeded Harold Wilson and won the 1978 general election. He was defeated in 1983 by Michael Heseltine. The present British PM is still Tony Blair, who defeated the Tories in 1997.
  • Switzerland is a member of the EU, but Denmark and Sweden are not.
  • Jimi Hendrix is still alive, but the critical consensus is that he hasn’t made any great albums since about 1971. His ‘Disco period’ is best forgotten, although some unrepentant prog-rock fans love the album he did with ELP.
  • Paul Rogers joined Deep Purple in 1973 as the replacement for Ian Gillan. To someone from our own timeline, their first album sounds remarkably like ‘Burn’ except with completely different song titles and lyrics.
  • Elvis died in a road accident in 1961
  • The big box-office fantasy hit filmed by Peter Jackson was not Lord of the Rings, but Michael Moorcock’s Elric.
  • There are only three books in The Wheel of Time.
  • Armour subtracts from damage in DnD, and always has done.
  • The Channel Tunnel opened in 1974, but Concorde was scrapped after a few test flights as a waste of taxpayer’s money. People talk of the ‘glorious age of supersonic flight’ that might have been.
  • European locomotive builders got a major foothold in the US railroad market; locomotives by English Electric and Krauss-Maffei are as common as the products of General Motors.
  • On US roads, everyone drives on the left, not on the right.
  • The two most common soft drinks throughout the world are Tizer and Irn Bru; the two manufacturers are great rivals
  • Both America and Europe use the same voltage and frequency for domestic electrical supplies.
  • Cricket is a major sport in Canada, and they’re one of the world’s top test sides. The game is now as popular in the US as soccer.
  • The Hindenburg never exploded, and Zeppelins are still a common sight throughout the world. Ooops, sorry, don’t know what came over me, won’t happen again……

Posted in Games, Music, Railways, Science Fiction | Comments Off

Doncaster Open Day

Some pictures of the Doncaster Open Day, 26th July 2003., which I didn’t manage to get to thanks to the idiots at Stockport station.

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Avoid Stockport!

Add Stockport station to the list of places not to go when you’ve got a camera. I was taking some photographs at the north end of platform 1/2 while waiting for a delayed connection to Doncaster.

Suddenly I was yelled at in an extremely aggressive and threatening manner by one of the ubiquitous security goons telling me to leave the far end of the platform.

Turned out there was a sign saying “Passengers must not cross the line”, which I had assumed appies to railway tracks themselves (such signs appear at the end of most platforms). No, it seems this line refers to a painted line across the platform about 100 feet from the end of the platform. As to why the last 100 feet of the platform is out of bounds, all the security goon could come up with was some undefined “Safety” reason. (Probably some stupid and fatuous rule dreamed up by the Health and Safety Executive)

While photography isn’t actually banned there yet, the combination of vaguely-worded signage and aggressive jobsworths make it an inhospitable place to practice the hobby.

Makes me wonder if it’s time to hang up my camera except for the occasional foreign trip.

Update: Their other victim has this to say on Usenet. Remember Usenet? It was what people used in the days before egroups and blogs.

Posted in Railways | 2 Comments

Mac Addictions

Tom Coates of plasticbag.org is forced by a new job to go cold turkey from Apple Macs. It’s not pretty…

As a result my extended connections to my social network – mediated through my alien stone, my totem computer – continue to atrophy. My sense of what’s going on around me is collapsing. I’m no longer sitting at the centre of the Panopticon. Instead I’m peripheral. What is central is the urinal of Windows machinery that, if I am thirsty for information, I must drink from. The internet that squeezes its way through task managers, continual crashing and word processors in browsers is not an internet I’m familiar with. It’s an ill-formed, thick and sticky horror – like Roast Lamb gone cold and congealed with fat. Coughed up by a used car salesman.

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British Airways in Chaos

People rant about British train operating companies, including on occasions me. But no failures, cockups or mismanagement by the likes of Virgin or Connex approaches the scale of the chaos that’s engulfed British Airways at Heathrow the fast four days, when the checkout staff and baggage handlers walked out in a dispute over working practices. 100,000 passengers were left stranded, some for more than four days. Fights broke out in the departure lounges.

Patrick Crozier writes in a comment on Transport Blog that it’s all because of a small change of the law making it harder for companies to sack strikers. But it takes two to make an industrial dispute; I suspect much more of the blame lies at the feet of heavy-handed management.

In the end, it’s the customer who suffers. How many of those 100,000 will never fly BA again? The whole think makes me wonder if British Airways are going the way of Pan Am (Remember them?)

Posted in Railways | 1 Comment

Blair for President

Let’s face it, many of us Brits are sick of him, but he’d be a big improvement on The Shrub. So now there’s Tony Blair for US President campaign!

But he’s not a US citizen, I hear you cry! They’ve thought of that.

To the cynics and cranks who brandish their dog-eared copies of the Constitution, we offer a collective raspberry (A derisive or contemptuous sound made by vibrating the extended tongue and the lips while exhaling – The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition).

Pthththbbbbttt!!!!

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Online GMing advice

David Edelstein (Amadán to his friends) has posted some wonderful Online GMing Tips on the DreamLyrics Message Board.

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The Darkness – Permission to Land

The New Musical Express thinks The Darkness should be destroyed, as the antithesis of everything the NME stands for. Of course I’d rather keep The Darkness, and let the NME be destroyed instead.

The Darkness play full-blooded rock anthems of the kind we haven’t heard from a new band in years, with songs titles like “Get Your Hands Off My Woman” and “Love on the Rocks with No Ice”, and gratuitously sexist cover (What’s wrong with being sexy, as Nigel Tufnel would say) Imagine a rawer version of Thin Lizzy crossed with the heavier end of Slade’s glam-rock, with a bit of Spinal Tap’s self-parody thrown in for good measure.

It’s not quite perfect; singer Justin Hawkins overdoes the falsetto vocals just a bit, and the guitar solos could be a a little bit widdlier, after all, cock-rock is supposed to have ejeculatory guitar solos! Still, at just 38 minutes, the album doesn’t doesn’t overstay it’s welcome, and certainly isn’t burdened with filler.

Posted in Music, Record Reviews | Tagged | 68 Comments

Kalyr meets Invasion of the Bodysnatchers

Population: One: Monday Mashup #2

We have a new gaming meme, the Monday Mashup. And this week it asks:

Pick a roleplaying world and talk about how you’d use the specified book/movie/TV show/whatever as an inspiration for a campaign or one-shot set in that world. You can post on your own blog or LiveJournal or in the comments here, as you see fit.

This week, your mashup subject is Invasion of the Body Snatchers. (The 1978 remake is also valid fodder.)

I tend not to GM much using published settings, preferring to develop my own. So let’s set Invasion of the Bodysnatchers in Kalyr. I ran a five year campaign using the setting a few years back, and currently run two on-line games set there. As well as the odd convention scenario.

For those of you not familiar with the setting, Kalyr could be described as a science-fiction setting dressed in fantasy clothes. Psionics is quite common, and technology has become more arcane, the principles by which devices work lost or obscured. And the whole world is ruled by secretive and sometimes hidden elites.

Kalyr already had a race of psionic shape-changing aliens, the Drarth. As a race they’re not particularly malevolent, although a small percentage of them are insane, at least by human standards. So far, the ‘bad’ Drarth tend to be loners, so an organised Drarth conspiracy would not be expected. They’re too few to attempt a takeover of any of the larger cities (and my games set in this world have so far been largely city-based), especially since any significant population of psis are likely to sniff them out pretty quick. A small outpost might be a different matter, if the Drarth can eliminate or subvert any psis present. Or perhaps one very powerful Drarth could do it on it’s own, replacing one individual and using it’s psionic powers to control everyone else? And just what might their agenda be?

Alternatively, we could go for the technological route. One secretive group in Kalyr possesses the technology to produce clones. Taking the Cold War metaphor into Kalyr’s own Cold War, we’ll have them in league with the “Evil Empire” of Kalyr, Karmork. Their agenda is much more straightforward, to expand their brutal and chauvinistic empire. (They’re really closer to Nazis than to Communists) They’ll be substituting their clones for important members of the societies they plan to subvert and soften up. Such a plan would be very long term, would need large numbers of agents to gather the required DNA samples of their chosen victims, and significant effort to remove them (by kidnapping or assassination) so as to replace them with the clones. They won’t go to the trouble of trying to replace a large fraction of the population, just a small number of influential people; city administrators, military commanders or influential religious leaders. Can the heroes thwart their plans before the clones betray the city to the invading army marching out of Karmork?

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Flame on!

Are you troubled by blogroaches? Is your blog infested by Freepi, Randroids, Trotskyites or Yngwie Malmsteen fans? If so, you need the Random Insult Generator to respond to those that leave nasty comments in your blog.

Your post is a tedious, homogenised, chameleon-esque scribble which amounts to nothing more than the demented cacophonous racket of a drugged lunatic banging loudly on kitchen pots and pans. I suggest you hone your writing skills before applying borrowed glories as a mere typist.

Trying to get something of value out of your post is like trying to squeeze orange juice out of an apple. You are obviously suffering from Clue Deficit Disorder. Well, you’re certainly thoughtless; I just wish that you were keyboard-less, too. To quote Martin Luther King, Jr.: “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

You are about as entertaining as watching grass grow in a windowbox. What do you do for a living? You are living, aren’t you? You have the warm personal charm of a millipede and about as much class as a bucket of mucous lodged on top of a dumpster in a Blue Light district of New Jersey. Maybe you wouldn’t come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if you weren’t an ‘idiot savant’ without the ‘savant’ part; if your weren’t so fat that when God said “Let there be Light”, he told you to move your fat ass out of the way, or if you didn’t have a face that makes people ask: “Damn, is it Halloween already?” Who am I kidding? You would.

Please try to have some small idea of what in the hell you’re talking about before you try to post again.

(Thanks again to Adam Lipscomb)

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