Author Archives: Tim Hall

American Images

Mermaid Kiss explain their concept behind their current work-in-progress album American Images. Yes, they’re a prog band – an album’s got to have a concept.

Although I have never been to America, I have a good idea of what it’s like. In my head are cities, deserts, buttes, mountains, canyons, houses, cars, people, lakes, rivers, lots of empty space. And roads. Especially roads.

Evelyn’s never to been to America either. I harbor a desire to sling a couple of guitars in the back of a beat up Buick (it wouldn’t have to be a Buick, anything distinctly American would do) and play our way across the USA, taking our time, stopping off whenever and wherever we feel – staying as much as possible on the back roads where we believe the real heartland of America lies.

This fantasy, is, of course, fueled by watching far too many US road movies with evocative soundtracks… As we planned our imaginary journey from picturesque Boston to the bright lights of New York, down via the Appalachian Mountains where time stands still, and on to the steamy South (ours is to be no straight ‘coast to coast’ trip), it dawned on us that the America we were driving through is the America of films and of music – an America uncorrupted by reality.

They’ll be telling me they’ve never actually been to Etalis next.

I’ve only been to America on business trips to Atlanta, GA, back in the days before George Bush and the War on Terror. I have no desire to go there now. To me, America resembles a gigantic version of Milton Keynes. Not quite sure if that’s quite what Mermaid Kiss are after.

On the other hand, what about the HO-scale Americas built by various Americanophile railway modellers in Britain?  I’m thinking of things like the small crumbling small prairie town of Godinez, Iowa, featured in the July issue of Continental Modeller.  Or all those grain elevators (every layout seems to have one).

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Autumn Tour Date Crunch!

It’s only July, and gigs for October and November are getting seriously silly.

October sees a bad crunch of gigs; I’d planned to catch two of The Reasoning’s dates, Crewe and either Cardiff or London. Now I find that the Saturday night London show clashes with Karnataka in Rotherham, which is the only one of their short tour that I can easily get to. And to end an exhausting weekend, Breathing Space play Crewe Limelight on the Sunday. It could theoretically mean four gigs in four days.

And to cap it all, Panic Room will be touring in October, but have yet to announce any dates.

November sees Marillion, Fish (with The Reasoning as support), Uriah Heep, Opeth and Mostly Autumn all on the road in the same two-week period – there are already two bad clashes

Posted in Music | 2 Comments

Counting Down

4 days to go to the Cambridge Rock Festival, where Sunday night’s bill stars Marillion, Mostly Autumn, The Reasoning and Breathing Space, of whom I have said a lot in this blog, along with Andy Fairweather Low, “Jim and Bob from Caravan”, John Otway, Touchstone and a couple of other bands of which I know little.

Should be a truly progtastic day.

Did I also mention there are a lot of good beers (none of this nothing but overpriced Carling nonsense)?

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Probably not the most economically sensible thing

Taking a holiday in the Euro zone, that is.

I’ve confirmed my booking for a holiday split between St.Goar-am-Rhein in Germany and Namur in the Belgian Ardennes. Both places I passed through on my way to Switzerland last year.

With the pound doing so badly that British model railway manufacturers can actually think about exporting stuff, going to a Euro country isn’t exactly the cheap option. But nothing in Britain really appeals to me this year (you can have scenery or trains, but not both), and going somewhere outside the Euro zone means going somewhere further away than can easily be reached by train. With the current levels of security theatre at airports I’m not willing to fly and have the airline lose my baggage.

Still, Germany and especially Belgium are renowned for good beer. Provided I can actually afford any…

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Twitter

I’ve followed Carl Cravens over to the dark side, and set up a twitter account – my username is “Kalyr”.  Time will tell if it’s any use – depends how many people I know are on it.

Posted in Miscellaneous | 3 Comments

Summer Stabcon 2008

I’ve lost count of the number of Stabcons I’ve been to now. I missed the first part of this one due to the charity concert in York, but managed to get there by about lunchtime to find a large room filled with a great many familar faces.

Getting there late meant that many games in which I’d liked to have played were already filled up – I noticed Mike Cule was running Vincent Baker’s “In A Wicked Age” on the Sunday, which would have been fun. Fortunately there was a slot in Mark Baker’s marathon Unknown Armies game running from 5pm until late on Saturday, so I signed up for that.

It turned out to involve time travel; what started as a tube journey early on a Sunday morning turned out as a trudge through the Fleet sewer, in which we emerged in 1829. Out attempts to get back home lead us to various times which increasingly diverged from our own timeline; at various points we killed the vampire Jack the Ripper and encountered Princess Elizabeth as a member of the British Resistance in the abandoned tube tunnels beneath Nazi-occupied London. Eventually we managed to fix the timeline, and get back to what would have been our own time but for some very bad dice rolling; everything was as it should have been except that both our London tube train and the Virgin Pendolinos at Euston appeared to be powered by Stirling Engines.

Sunday’s game was very different – Pete Crowther’s game of Toon. Which was very, very silly indeed. I wrote up a Toon version of Bug, from the Guardians of Dimension games from Gypsycon. Other characters included a 50′ high robot and a squirrel. The plot was probably impossible to summarise, but included live-action Space Invaders, a fight in a tea-room, aeroplanes getting coated in cottage pie, the Welsh village of Llandofmyfathers, and an arch-villains base in the volcanic crater in Mt Snowdon.

Next Stabcon is from the 2nd to 4th January – see you there!

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The Howard Sparnenn Benefit Concert

I’ve never been a unadvertised private invite-only gig before.

Although I’ve already seen Breathing Space four times this year, and it meant missing the first day of Stabcon, I felt this benefit show for the brain tumour charity Andrea’s Gift was something I just had to go to. Especially when I’d been personally invited.

It had a very different feel to a regular gig; I guessing everyone there knew Howard Sparnenn; a lot of family friends, although there were quite a big group of Breathing Space fans, with just about all the regulars present. Two big screens either side of the stage shows a series of pictures of Howard, ranging from recent gig photos to holiday snaps from years ago, which served to remind us of why we were here.

I estimated there were about two hundred people there, I’m told they sold all the tickets, and raised more than £3000 for charity. The downside was the with a lot of people there not being fans of the music, the gig was marred slightly by a lot of talking when the band were playing – Livvy Sparnenn actually had to ask people to be quiet at one point. I’m sorry to say that two individuals I won’t name but were both firmly in the ‘stoat eyed acolyte’ camp were among the worst offenders.

Breathing Space played two sets, with much the same setlist as they’d been playing this year, with the addition of the cover of “Autumn Leaves”, specially requested by Livvy’s mum Jeanette. Between the two sets we saw a one-off reunion of Howard’s 70′s band Flight, a blues-rock four-piece playing a mix of originals and covers, including some of Howard’s songs.

I’d noticed the whole of Mostly Autumn were present in the audience; in fact Heather Findlay was sitting right next to me during Breathing Space’s second set, making me wonder if I should really have worn that Marillion t-shirt to the gig. I wasn’t expecting The Mostlies to take to the stage for a couple of numbers, the very appropriate “Faerytale” and “Heroes”.

Finally Breathing Space returned for their now-traditional encore of “The Gap Is Too Wide”. When I first heard this live, I wondered whether they could really do the song justice without the choir for the end section, but they’ve made it work with the (very prog) big walls of Mellotron.

Musically this was definitely Livvy’s night, a very emotional performance which must have been very difficult to do, especially songs like “Belief” and “On the Blue Horizon”. One of the band spoke to me afterwards telling me how much he agreed with my Amy Winehouse post. While I didn’t name any names in that post, we both knew who I meant.

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SFX Book Meme, Part 4 (33-01)

The final part of the SFX Book Meme, the top third of the list, a higher proportion of which I’ve actually read.

33. China Mieville
Drags fantasy kicking and screaming into the 21st century; and rejects the idea that fantasy worlds have to be pre-industrial; he combines high-fantasy magic with steampunk technology, and throws in a good dollop of horror into the mix, giving something that feels truly exotic. His biggest fault is that he gets a bit preachy at times, which can get annoying if you don’t share his hard-left politics.

32. Raymond E. Feist
Another writer of ‘Extruded Fantasy Product’ – I’ve only read a couple of his books, but they’re so D&D that you can even work out when characters went up levels.

30. Roger Zelazny
The man responsible for the Amber cult. Actually I thought his “Lord of Light” was a better book, although the whole ‘god-like characters who lord it over mere mortals’ genre doesn’t do a lot to me; it’s too munchkiny. I prefer to see such characters as the villians of the story.

27. William Gibson
One of the few science fiction authors who’s writing has changed the real world. Had he not written “Neuromancer”, you might not be reading this.

25. CS Lewis
The first two of his “grownup” SF novels, “Out of the Silent Planet” and “Perelandra” still hold up as theology-based fantasies, although I have to say the final volume, “That Hideous Strength” is rather silly.

24. Diana Wynne Jones
The only book of hers I’ve read is the satirical non-fiction “Tough Guide to Fantasyland”, which parodies all the clichés of Extruded Fantasy Product.

23. John Wyndham
“Triffids!”. I have a feeling I read that at school, which would make him one of the first SF author I ever read.

20. Stephen King
I’ve only read “The Shining”, and liked the way it was deliberately vague as to whether or not the place was really haunted, or whether it was all in the minds of the characters. I really need to read “The Stand”, see as I played in David “Amadán” Edelstein’s online game

19. Ray Bradbury
Not read much of him, but what I have read was good.

18. Arthur C. Clarke
An author I first encountered in an English lesson at school, with the short story “The Nine Billion Names of God” – with one of the most memorable final lines in fiction, Of the writers of the so-called ‘Golden Age’ of SF, I think he was the greatest.

17. Robert Jordan
I suppose I have to count him as an author I’ve read, even though I only lasted 150 pages into the first volume of his interminable (and never finished) Extruded Fantasy Product “Wheel of Time” saga.

15. Robert Heinlein
The one and only author who’s caused me to hurl one of his books across the room in disgust. The reason I loved Paul Verhoeven’s film of “Starship Troopers” is that it mercilessly satirised the dreadful politics of that book, and managed to piss off all those noxious right-wing geeks that worship Heinlein in the process.

14. Frank Herbert
“Dune” is an absolute classic every SF fan must read. The sequels are not so good; “God Awful of Dune” is so-called for a very good reason.

13. Peter F. Hamilton
I read the “Reality Dysfunction”, the first of his series that started off as space opera then turned into supernatural horror. Although entertaining, I never got round to reading the rest of the series.

11. Ursula K. LeGuin
“The Dispossessed” and “The Left Hand of Darkness” are two of the best soft-SF novels ever written.

9. HG Wells

I used to work in Woking, a town whose main claim to fame was that the place got trashed in “War of the Worlds”. There’s even a full-sized model of a Martian tripod in the shopping centre. I wish someone would finally make a big-budget film that actually set the story in the 1890s Britain of Wells’ novel rather than insisting on relocating the thing to present-day America.

8. Philip K. Dick
I’m guessing a lot of people know Dick through the Hollywood adaptations like “Blade Runner” and “Total Recall”. But do go and read some the original books; there’s far more in there than can be fitted into a two hour action movie.

7. Iain M. Banks
Anyone else think the opening chapters of the first Culture novel, “Consider Phlebas” reads like a Traveller adventure with a particularly sadistic GM? Banks, more than anyone else, is responsible for reviving the genre of space opera, which had become more or less moribund. Most of his non-SF novels (the non-M ones) are worth reading too.

6. Isaac Asimov
Another author I first encountered at school, with his first novel “Pebble in the Sky”, very much one of his lesser works. Like a lot of “Golden Age” SF, a lot of his 40s and 50s writing is rather dated now. Personally I think “The End of Eternity” is his best book.

5. George R.R. Martin
Many people rave about his “Fire and Ice” saga, but I’m afraid the first volume rather left me cold, and I didn’t go on to read any more. It’s a series allegedly based on the English wars of the roses, but all the characters seem to be lifted straight out of American soap opera. Ugh.

4. Douglas Adams
I thought the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy series consisted of two great books, one ok-ish one, and two pretty terrible ones you can tell he didn’t really want to write. The Dirk Gently books were rather better.

3. Neil Gaiman
Only read two-and-a-half books of his, the half being “Good Omens” co-written by Terry Pratchett. The other two were “Neverwhere”, which was the novelisation of the TV script, and American Gods, which has been slated by two bloggers I know as anti-American, and grossly sexist.

2. J.R.R. Tolkien
Difficult to find anything to say about Tolkien that hasn’t already been said, except that he cannot be blamed for the Extruded Fantasy Product that followed in his wake.

1. Terry Pratchett
After nearly 30 books, the most recent Diskworld novels are still far better than anything that far into a series have any right to be. Personally, I don’t care for the Rincewind novels myself, and consider the Witches and Guards books to be my favourites.

Posted in Science Fiction | 5 Comments

The Most Pretentious Concert of All Time?

As reported in The Guardian Music Blog

ORGAN2/ASLSP As Slow aS Possible“, a 4.07 metre-long score which would stretch to an estimated 47,000 kilometres in its elongated form, originally took a mere 29 minutes and 15 seconds to perform when it was premiered in 1987. Believe it or not, it has become one of the most talked about events of the German cultural calendar. The weekend’s change to C4-A flat4 which happened at precisely 3.33pm, attracted about 1,000 spectators including Cage fans.

The church has been forced to erect a Perspex sound barrier outside after complaints from neighbours who say the tone which plays uninterrupted until the next change, was hard to bear. There have been periods of silence – for instance an 18-month pause until February 5 2003 – which came as a welcome relief to some.

Those who missed the latest event may journey to Halberstadt on November 4 2008, when a further tone change is to sound. And in several years’ time, one note will sound for 58 years without a break – organ specialists will be on hand to ensure the organ is robust enough to handle the strain.

When I first read this, my reaction was that this sounded like something out of the late Douglas Adams’ Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. It would be the sort of thing all the rage in the Pseud cluster. Probably the Syrian Cybernetics Corporation customer complaints line would play it while you were kept on hold.

But apparently this is for real…

This is clearly deeply symbolic of man’s struggle against the fact that the avant-garde has a terminal case of cranio-rectal insertion syndrome.

Update: One blogger seems to be taking exception to what I’ve said, and considers me a philistine.

I reject the idea that only an elite priesthood of anointed critics are allowed to comment on any work of art. I have as much right to question the validity of Cage’s 600+ year long piece as a Guardian hack scribbler has the right to dismiss a generic indie band.

When an artist who produces something inherently ridiculous, nobody should be surprised when it becomes the subject of ridicule.

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Fudge Points – An Actual Play Example

One of the things I’ve been wondering when running message games using FUDGE is what do you do about Fudge points. The platonic ideal of message gaming is not to make any out-of-character references to game mechanics. I’m trying to come up with some code phrases which can be invoked in-character to enable a player to say “I’m spending a Fudge Point on this action” without explicitly saying “I’m spending a Fudge Point”.

But sometimes it’s pretty clear. In this example, Hollis, a powerful psychokinetic, has been taken prisoner. This is completely unedited game transcript; Hollis’s words and actions are written by Nicki Jett, one of my best players, and the scene setting and Guruinath’s lines are mine.

Hollis aches all over; when she slowly comes round, she’s in a windowless room with featureless grey walls; if there’s a door, it must be somewhere behind her. She’s sitting in an uncomfortable wooden chair, and appears to be restrained by leather straps.

Facing her are three kandar males. Two of them look like standard-issue Karazthan security goons. The man standing between radiates an aura of being someone of importance, a handsome middle-aged kandar of aristocratic bearing, with piercing mauve eyes. The expression on his face cannot possibly be described as friendly.

“Human, you have some explaining to do”, he says, “You were captured while engaged in hostile acts against Karazthan security who were engaged in lawful activity”.

“You have now been positively identified as the human who attacked our security team on the West Side, causing serious injuries to one, and the death of a member of Guild of Victuallers”.

“Can you give an explanation of your actions. Starting with the most important question. Who are you working for?”

“Of course,” Hollis said. “I represent the Legion — actually, the Fifth Legion, and in particular Tavonoleyr Kolath Polyn d’n Miralath a’r Surene. I have been retained as an advisor on human affairs and a guide to the human quarter, and I also serve as an errand girl when needed. In that capacity, I go where he says –”

** well, not exclusively, but that is merely a semantic issue.**

“– I investigate what he wishes investigated, and I question those he suggests. However, when I am in the middle of one of these investigations, and some people *try to kill me,* like your victualler, I regretfully must defend myself.

“In the case you cited most recently, I was concerned for my employer’s safety, and I was making an effort to reduce the tension without anyone getting killed in the process. I was trying to maintain a low profile and defuse what I saw as a volatile situation.”

She glanced around the room, taking in the nature of the restraints and the positioning of the interrogators, and noting the presence or absence of edged weapons. SHe is evaluating how quickly she could get them unbuckled mentally, or slice through them if she “borrowed” a blade from one of the interrogators, and how many times she would have to bash heads together to take them all out.

The proximity and security of the exit came under consideration as well.

As Hollis’ head clears, she realises the identity of her interrogator – it’s Guruinath Zadaz, the Karazthan head of security. The man Kolath believes to be a traitor to the city.

“Ah, Kolath d’n Miralath”, he says sarcastically, “The loose canon himself. Who’s never been quite right in the head since he had a nasty blow to the head. Probably leaving him vulnerable to mind-control from a human wizard with an agenda all her own”.

“Now, tell me who you’re *really* working for. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way”.

Hollis scans the room; the two Men in Black have lightning wands at their belts, but don’t appear to have any swords or knives on their person. Hollis senses that there’s a fourth person in the room somewhere behind her that she can’t see.

“Where’s my belt pack? I have some things in there for you to see that might make things clearer.”

“Answer my questions first”, says Guruinath.

Hollis considers her options. She probably has the mental strength to break the leather straps, but will probably injure her wrists in the process. She can’t loosen the straps without being able to see how they’re attached.

Seizing the lightning wands, then aiming and firing them would require a lot of finesse, and her forte is brute force.

She scans the part of the room she can see for any suitable objects to start throwing around. The only thing she can see is what looks like a waste bin in the corner – it’s made of basket-weave stuff rather than anything solid, so probably weighs next to nothing.

One thing she does notice is that the whole room does appear to be swaying slightly. This might just be Hollis’ still being a bit groggy.

Hollis decided that the wavery effect could also mean this was not real. MAybe it was a dream, or something similar. No reason to get too goofy. She could always bash two of them together, or seize the lightning rods and use them like clubs.

“Afraid there’s nothing left to say, since I an a simple girl and doing a simple job helping the Legion. IF you try to get rough, though, I am not going to sit still for it.”

“I like a girl with spirit”, he says, getting the timing sufficiently wrong that the joke falls rather flat. “Now, you really expect me to believe that. Kolath’s a flake, and you know it. You’re using him. Now tell me who you’re really working for, and we won’t need to start using Devices”.

The room is definitely swaying. Hollis is sure it’s not just her imagination.

“Be-HAVE,” Hollis said, shaing her head and opening and closing her eyes rapidly to try and diminish the swaying effect. “I’m not working for anybody else.

“And stand still and quit swaying, would you? You’re making me nauseous. Here, let me help … ”

She reached out with her mind and seized the two on each side of Guruinath, trying to smash their heads together at the place where Guruinath’s head was located.

It would be like smacking three melons together. Hard.

Leaving her with one to deal with, if things worked out …

Hollis concentrates….

…and nothing happens. Apart from what feels like someone driving red-hot nails into her skull.

“11.4!”, says a female voice from behind her. “Unit’s only rated for 14! She’s strong”.

Guruiniath gives the owner of the voice a black look.

Hollis made the immediate segué, being analyzed, being managed, being held down by a machine with a limit.

One she bet she could blow out the top.

She concentrated, tightened up her mind, put everything she had into defeating this thing and grabbing *someone* in the vicinity, preferably Guruiniath …

Emergency, threat to her brother, threat to Kolath, death of her parents, she used them all for motivation, to kick it up to a power level she’d never achieved before.

Let’s see what their machine could handle …

I think Hollis’ player is pretty unambiguously saying “I’m spending a Fudge Point here…

It’s scenes like this that make message game RPGing so worthwhile.

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